Most people open a dating app, swipe like thumbs are on auto-pilot, then act shocked that chats go nowhere. The app isn’t cursed, the prep is. Before swiping at all, it helps to decide what you’re actually ok with right now. Short term, longer term, “not sure yet but honest about it”, whatever. Pick it, write it down if brain keeps changing.
Then set 3–5 basic lines you don’t cross. Maybe kids, distance, smoking, politics, age gap, whatever matters in real life. When that stuff is clear first, it’s easier to look at a profile and think “nope, doesn’t fit the list” instead of “eh, maybe it will magically work”. That little bit of pre-game planning stops a lot of weird chats before they even start.
Build a Simple Scouting Report For Each Match
Once you match, treat that profile like a quick scouting card, not a poster to stare at. You can break it into four fast checks:
- Photos – Do they look like the same person in all of them, same rough age, same vibe. Is there at least one normal picture, not only bathroom mirror and blurry group shots.
- Bio – Is it specific at all, or just three tired lines and emojis. Vague text usually means they didn’t put much thought into this whole thing.
- Prompts – Are there clear hints about lifestyle and weekly routine, or only random quotes and song lyrics.
- Signals in any first line they sent – Respectful, or straight away creepy or pushy.
If you’re seeking hook up near me you might stumble upon profiles where it’s directly stated. Even then, the same rule stands: still check if the person seems sane, present, and at least a little consistent before saying a single word.
The point is not to judge like a robot, just to stop treating every match as equal. Some are “message soon”, some are “maybe later”, some are “absolutely not, ever”.
What MMA Matchmaking Can Teach Your Dating App
Big MMA promotions don’t build a card by flipping a coin. Matchmakers look at records, recent form, styles, and rankings. Coaches watch tape, argue, and sort fighters into tiers before they say yes to a bout. One wild knockout never erases months of bad defense. One highlight doesn’t tell the whole story.
Dating prep can copy that in a light way. Instead of just one big “liked / not liked” label, sort matches into simple tiers: “top picks to message this week”, “backups”, and “nope”. Look at more than one trait when doing it: effort in photos, clarity in text, basic manners, signs of similar lifestyle. If one thing looks amazing but three things look off, you already know what that means.
You can even steal the idea of mock scenarios. Before writing, think quickly: if this person behaves the way their profile suggests, how would a first meet actually go. That tiny pause often exposes people who look shiny on screen but would be a headache in real life.
Drop a link to the war room story on a short phrase like “draft meetings” to show where this mindset comes from.
Read Profiles Like Evidence, Not Like Ads
Research on dating apps keeps saying the same thing: people choose better when they don’t just stare at photos, but actually read the text and think for a moment. A profile is basically a pile of small clues.
Red flags show up fast if you let them. All photos cropped, no face. Bio that says almost nothing. Constant talk about drama, exes, or “no time wasters” while giving zero info about themselves. Overly sexual messages before there is even a basic chat. Requests to move off the app instantly, or to send money, or to meet at a weird place straight away. Safety guides warn that these patterns are common in scams and pushy behavior.
Good signs are boring on paper: steady tone, clear info, reasonable boundaries, a profile that looks like a real human day-to-day, not a marketing campaign. A short section of online dating safety advice can back up what your gut is already telling you.
You don’t need to stalk anybody, just read with the same focus you give to a work email that could mess up your week if you misread it.
Conclusion
Before tapping out that first line, run through this in your head:
- Does this person line up with what you actually want right now
- Do they pass your basic dealbreakers
- Did you rate them in a clear “tier” instead of a random mood
- Are there obvious red flags or safety issues
- Is there at least one solid thing to talk about from their profile
If the profile clears that, send the message. If it doesn’t, save the time, save the brain cells, and keep your pre-game plan for someone who actually fits it.